You title this (FC)

Tahera- Pure, Chaste

Recently I've been feeling like I need to prove myself to others. Originally, I was going to post about the love of my life, I've decided not to. (That'll be another time). Anyways.. I feel like I need to prove myself. I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden I care what people think, I never have. I don't believe I care, I just want people to see a different side of me. There're plenty of people who has never spoken to me since I came to this school.That bothers me...  As of right now I'm trying to prove to Ms.Hegeman that I'm not depressed, which I'm not. Trying to show my mature, intellectual side. 2 years ago, a girl I was friends with, told me I have "a bad Ora", "negative energy". Although, this girl is EXACTLY like me, she's just more CONTROLLING than I am. Ever since then I latched on to be a brighter, exciting and lovable person... Now, that hasn't worked. I shouldn't have to get a round of applause for not getting into any problems, very ignorant.  I have no idea where this is going!!! This is so frustrating. I guess "changing" or "maturing" comes with self want and need. I think that these girls walk around acting like they know everything and they've found themselves. I know , I don't know who I am. I never really wanted to change, I never needed friends, I've always kept a small circle...  I feel as though I don't need people to accept me, However, I am falsely judged on what people think they know about me. I've always heard "Tahera, I've always accused of people this person and didn't like you, Until I really got to know you". To hear that is a breath of fresh air because that is one less person that hates me.

 I don't want this to be a long blog, I'll sum this up soon. I do know one thing, I am a good friend, Girlfriend, Aunt, Sister, Daughter, Cousin, Niece, Granddaughter and person. I may be  mean at times it's  just honesty because I am a nice person. I am Misunderstood, Overlooked, and Underrated.

Tahera is an extraordinary woman who is disposed to excess, and her policy seems to be "all or nothing" much of the time, meaning that her itinerary could take her to the highest peaks as well as towards certain chasms... This influence also nudges her in the direction of others - to the world and to the public. Tahera certainly doesn´t leave people indifferent and could go far with the right support - with the chance to be even more successful if she approaches life with a selfless attitude. She is an unconventional character who doesn´t like to follow the beaten track and knows no limitations.. Tahera is fascinated by elsewhere - be it geographically, intellectually or spiritually. She seeks to surpass herself and break the mould of habit and convention. This can often make her appear enigmatic and others could perceive her as a visionary or a nonconformist, or even an outside.Tahera is drawn to contact with the public, but destiny could present her with the other aspects of the number 9: overseas travel, altruism, humanitarian or philanthropic orientations. It is quite possible that she goes through different stages before achieving a state of perfect detachment, she needs to feel secure in the material realm before she can dedicate herself to others, and Tahera is not indisposed to a little soul searching. She needs to believe in what she does, and it is not inconceivable that she one day achieves a certain notoriety or another form of recognition. Her tendency to daydream, her sensuality and the nature of her ultimate quest, could, if she isn´t able to materialize her aspirations, lead her to artificial paradises. As a child, Tahera can be oversensitive, emotional and unpredictable, and one needs to understand her to be able to love her, although her perception of the truth may seem alien to you and her incredible stories shocking.

http://www.first-names-meanings.com/names/name-TAHERA.html

I forgot the title but it has something to do with classes to talk about...

So, I'm going to talk about my ENGLISH class. As a child growing up;you often hear about how English is the worst class, the class we all need to graduate.The life long rumors are true, not because of the work, but because of the people.

I really hope this doesn't offend anyone, then again I may not care really. My English class is literally "Mean Girls", within 45 minutes each day. The typical self-centered, egoistical people in my class (some) really annoy me. I CANNOT deal with cocky people, teachers OR teacher-assistant especially. Class and school in general is not whose more knowledgeable , but who puts their knowledge to good use. It is very much OK to work with people, and have others look over your work, there is no "levels" to be above. I feel those are very ignorant to the fact people can hear their comments. Yes, I am speaking subliminally, and this is very appropriate. This is my blog and my opinion,also I didn't use profanity. I feel as though that is an improvement in itself.

Furthermore, the work in my English class is annoying. I hate grammar rules, it feels so third grade to me. I get it, as others (teachers and assistants) would say "You guys are Seniors, you're making more grammatical mistakes then my 8th graders". I don't care to hear that truthfully, every child is different, mistakes will be made, that is why it is called proof reading, I do understand I am not the worlds easiest person to talk to or student. I know I have conversations in class, but it's boring, I hate to sit down for 45 minutes to hear a bunch of rambling and empty examples that goes back to the topic at hand.

This by no means is a positive blog, this is a rant. Fahrenheit 451 was a very well written book, however I do not want to do this essay, It's an argumentative essay and I'm over argumentative essays. I am very good at debating and arguing but this particular topic not so much....


BLOOP! 

SSR

So I found this picture on Pinterest but forgot to pin it, I only saved in to my laptop. I can't give you the link or artist but, I could give you my thoughts on it. This picture stood out to me because I feel as though I'm trapped in my own mind, alone and cold. The things I go through mentally is more than what I could handle, and I don't often tell people whats really on my mind in depth.Which often makes me feel alone. My mind never stops, it's always running and stressing. My negative thoughts hold me back from moving forward in life. I am definitely a prisoner in my own mind. I'd like to be free without losing my mind. I'm a free spirit but with a captured mind.

Passion

My passion would be African Americans. I love our art and way of love. I especially love our skin color and hair, I may joke and complain about my hair and color but I truthfully love it. I go on Pinterest every night looking for African American art or photography. I am not a homosexual or anthing but I love to see African American women being photographed or painted because I like the story that's being captured. I always felt like if your an African American women the world is against you, If your anything darker than a penny, there is nothing beautiful . Well I never felt that way, I'm passionate about African Americans, African American art and skin colors, and photographed art of African American women.

This picture is "hard" because it signifies that African American women are strong warriors. I really felt this captured my personality, I connected  to this picture.

Who Am I?

Who Am I? I've answered this question about a hundred times and I still don't know if it's true or false. I don't know who I am, I just know my likes and dislikes. I know what others say about me and I know what I think of myself but, there are still some things I'm still unsure about. For example. Am I really that unfriendly? Am I really annoying? Am I too loud? Am I ugly? Am I attractive? Do people find me to be an actress? Do people find me as creative and different as I do myself? These question I will never know, but I do know that I like Biggie and  Tupac. I love graphic crew-neck sweaters and converses. I love to sing as if I could and draw with deep thoughts and an serious expression like I'm Picasso. I love to eat anything that doesn't involve peanut butter or fruity gum. I love to take long walks in the winter because it's quiet. I love a depressing, adventures, spontaneous, plot-thickening, cry-your-eyes-out book, I love a book where I could imagine myself as the character. I love to fell emotion for everything books and art. I feel as though when I'm listening to music, when there's a sharp high-note that I'm that girl singing her heart out. I put my soul into my music, books and art work. I am lazy, I rather sleep all day and watch old Disney movies

I hope to be someone great though, I don't consider being famous great. The richer things of life is to live life to fullest. I don't do drugs or drink to realize life gives you an natural high. I am not an adrenaline junkey, that does not tickle my fancy. I'm goofy and silly but some times very serious. I've always bee told, "Tahera is a wonderful student, with a vivid vocabulary and imagination. However, she's a completely different person when she's upset." I never understood how I person could say that, Everyone is different when their upset. I just verbally express that, I am very blunt and I consider my self bold.

I guess the point of this blog is to state who I am but I don't know, It could be my alter ego or the fact that I'm reading this is my head, imagining Ms. Gilpin reading this out loud. It could be the multiple people in my head telling me what to write, who knows?